Blog: Site updates | Linux | Free Software | Culture | Health | Watch collection | RSS Personal: Contact | About me

parasurv@webspace ~ $

Learning: Emacs Journal | Linux Wiki - Shorts: Microblog | Linkblog
Remembering: Read | Watch | Listen | Old games stuff

Star Wars: Andor
My opinion about it, before I never see it…

Date: 2022-09-21

Andor is Disney's newest shit in the series of Disney's Star Wars. While one might say Rogue One was OK or even good (I say it was nihilist, boring and mediocre at best), and understand that Solo wasn't needed, and the sequel trilogy was downright a giant pile of shit.

And here comes Andor, a series about a guy who was less remembered than Bob A Fett (good job Robot Chicken!), a bounty hunter with a cool look, but nothing else. I don't remember Andor from Rogue One at all. I remember K2-SO. In fact so much, that first time in my life, I wanted to own a popular media toy. Here we don't have much tradition collecting toys, because there is no comics mania, no superhero stuff. At the end I didn't want to give money to Disney. Alan Tudyk made a robot alive, which of course doesn't really make sense, even for a reprogrammed Imperial droid. He had great character though.

I have no problem with serious characters, but downright boring ones. Like Andor, and the main female character. I don't remember them at all! This is not a sign of a good movie to be honest, and how can I be excited about a series which is about a boring guy?!

I heard that the premiere is a 3 episode one, which hope will be enough to setup the era, the characters and where the universe is at the point of rebellion and Andor.

Andor is what a stupid name for a person, when in-universe we already have a planet, named Endor. Whoever wrote Rogue One, was an idiot. So yeah, I am not excited.

You might say: why do you judge a show, if you never going to see it? How do you know that it will be bad?

Simple answer: because of Disney's track record with their trilogy and side movies.

What could have been Rogue One and Andor?

Here comes the Star Wars Extended Universe. And before you say that most of it was shit, well of course it was in a way. A lot of amateur and professional writers try to go and have a crack expanding something that was layed down in the original SW trilogy. I admit, that I maybe read 3-4 books. Some was downright entertaining. I even remember when Luke Skywalker searched for his mother. That was before Lucas made the prequels of course. Oh and I know about the Thrawn trilogy. I started reading it, but sometimes I felt the pain, that this could have been an awesome movie. Even an animated one, where the original cast voice their characters again.

But I played most of the Star Wars games. In March 1995, me and brother saw a gaming magazine, which had a stormtropper on it. I still have that magazine, our very first gaming one. We bought it just for the cover, and of course for the game that it represented: Star Wars: Dark Forces - the first Star Wars first person shooter, made by LucasArts. An absolutely amazing game, with music and sound effects from the game. Really nice animated cutscenes - for the time - and the gameplay was captivating. Get into Imperial bases at get items, or even blowing up them. Be a rebel! Never mind the sewer level though. That one get go to hell!

The game is about Kyle Katarn, who was once an Imperial officer in the Empire. Later he become a mercenary after he learnt that the Empire killed his father. One of his first task for the Rebellion was no other than stealing the plans for the Death Star! Wow, we are stealing the Death Star' plans! I played the first level dozens of times, since it was also the demo level. I knew the level by heart, and Star Wars fans all over the world become early speedrunners. :-)

With a little bit of care, this could have been a good base for the story of "Rogue One" (also please stop naming your movie after a ship in the movie, it doesn't say anything!) - but instead Disney had to make a really, really, really boring female protagonist. Name doesn't remember at all. His dad made the Death Star though? Sorry, but if you are working for the Empire for an important project like this, you will have no time for a kid, we will just castrate you, so you have uninterrupted attention for the job.

Back to Kyle Katarn and a movie. He had a (non-romantic) partner, Jan Ors. This could have also been a team movie, just like RO. The first level of Dark Forces is a very simplistic one. You don't even need to infiltrate the base, you are already in. Plenty of events and characters to flash out.

Kyle Katarn is the Chuck Norris of the Star Wars universe, as many people say it. And not just because of the added beard for the character in the second game…

The series could have been about how he grow up, with his dad. What made him join the Empire then later leaving them. Then after stealing the plans for the Death Star, Mon Mothma trusts him with another job: the Empire is developing a new kind of troopers, only labelled "Dark Troopers". So the first season or even two could have been around this. Fleshing out the universe alongside it with happenings in the Empire (you can even show Darth Vader, just like in the game!), and showing Kyle's past in the flashbacks. 13 episodes, hour long. Would have been cool.

Then at the end of season one or two (depending when would end the Dark Trooper saga), Kyle get's a video disk from an anonymous source. He puts it in a player, and the first frame is his father. End credits…

Of course people familiar with the game series knows that about Jeric, a dark Jedi, and the Valley of the Jedi. Exciting two season ahead.

The whole Kyle Katarn story has full of potential of fun and engaging stories. For that to work though, you need competent writers who know the source material (you don't have to play the games, but watch let's plays, especial for the FMV Jedi Knight ones). We don't expect every mission and event look like in the game, but generally follow the happenings. See Kyle Katarn change, realizing that the Empire betrayed him. Oh and show Darth Vader telling one of his officer that Kyle Katarn shouldn't be underestimated, because even Vader knew about Katarn's resourcefulness.

Sadly, Hollywood has no talented writers because forget about merit, they are hiring based on race or gender or someother, incredible meaningless characteristic. When the showrunners of "Rings of Power" have two uncredited "credit" for Star Trek Beyond. They are not just nobodies, but talentless nobodies. Don't tell me that they couldn't have hired somebody with a little more credit to lead a billion dollar show, with huge commitment from one of the biggest company in the world…

I only ask for interesting characters for a show that could have been good, but with a "lead" like Andor, not so much. I doubt that even it will be about him. Seeing the last few years of Disney Marvel offerings, where many of the male characters were replaced by a more competent female ones, I wouldn't be surprised if Andor was a side-character in his own show…

This is post #35 of the #100DaysToOffload challenge, where we write 100 posts in a year. If you are interested in this event, check out the official website: Happy writing everybody! :)

Hosted on Neocities and created with Emacs. This website doesn't track you. I don't use any javascript or other scripts. I don't store any information about the visitors. It's just pure old fashioned HTML and some CSS. I may use webfonts in the future, until then, if you Iosevka, then you can enjoy the site in its full glory. xD (this last part is only true after the design change)