parasurv@webspace ~ $


Date: 2019/11/14

Woke up a few minutes ago, a nightmare. It wouldn't be anything special, but I haven't had those for a while now.

I only slept 3 and a half hours. Now I type these and I don't want to go back to sleep. I need to focus on something, 100%. Maybe I will write some articles, or get do some research for some posts.

Luckily I think I can make my mind busy. Tomorrow I also going away for a day, with my brother and his family, and I might get a vertical mouse. And if I get one, it will take me probably a few days.

I think I need to get back to meditation, it helped me whenever I did it. It wasn't just an escape, my days flow better and they were in order, that I could handle. I was less angry, I smiled more.

Without sounding religious, I can recommend the Buddhist Society of Western Australia videos. There are some amazing monk there. And I don't care what you say about organized religion, there are people who genuinely want to help others.

I don't want to use pills. I know they are an option. The last 2 years was such a huge change in my life, going vegan, and getting back a repressed memory (a fight with my mom about trying to be vegetarian). It was so good for me, and I had less negative thoughts than before. It is an amazing journey! I was basically ill from mid August, and I had to abandon going out, walking, which was part of my daily routine since May. I think I get back to it to, until my legs and arms freeze off, right now we still have pretty good weather to go out.

I have to look after myself. I know this isn't the same thing, like 5 years ago, when my mom died, and I searched an artificial way to fill my life. Well I have found it, but sometimes people fall off of routines, and I clearly need to get back to it!

I just wish I could back to sleep right now…

Have happy thoughts! :)

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